


It Should Have Been Me

by Flymetothemoon81



Category: Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri (2017)
Genre: F/M, Feelings, Fluff and Smut, Porn with Feelings, Smut, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-09
Updated: 2019-04-09
Packaged: 2020-01-07 09:38:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18407990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flymetothemoon81/pseuds/Flymetothemoon81
Summary: Jason and the reader are working together at the police station. The reader developed feelings for Jason which at first seem to remain unrequited...





	It Should Have Been Me

  


_„I don’t know…maybe we could have a drink some day. “_

_Jason looked at you like you suggested robbing a bank._

_“I…umm…I don’t think that’s a good idea”, he answered, looking away and rubbing the back of his head._

_“Oh…” You felt like an idiot._

_All the time you were thinking you felt some tension between you and him. Something hidden, not yet exposed, but definitely apparent._

_Seemed like you were mistaken._

_“That’s fine, really”, you added quickly when you noticed his obvious confusion._

_“Listen, I’m not good at these things”, he mumbled, looking down at his shoes like a shy schoolboy._

_“Just forget it, ok? It was a stupid idea.”_

_You felt a bit humiliated by this and wanted to disappear as fast as possible._

_What a pity there still was the whole working day lying ahead of you._

Since that day working at Ebbing Police Department was not always easy for you. You didn’t know exactly what you felt for Jason Dixon, but there definitely was something, lying heavy on your heart now.

Neither of you did mention the incident again but it remained like a thick veil between you two.

Your relationship changed. Before this happened you were often talking about movies and music. Now your interactions were limited to work stuff or trivial remarks about the weather.

You felt terrible and you noticed that Jason didn’t feel comfortable around you, too.

Some weeks later you were leaving work early. Jason was on lunch break so you were not able to wish him a good weekend as usual.

When you left the station house you saw him standing by the door, smoking a cigarette.

“Hey”, you said.

“You’re leaving.” It was not a question.

“Yes, I’m planning to visit my sister over the weekend and have to pack some things.”

He nodded, taking a deep drag.

“Have a good time”, he said, flicking the remains of his ciggy to the ground.

You expected him to move and enter the station but he stayed, looking past you.

“Yes, thanks.”

It was awkward and embarrassing and you couldn’t stand this whole situation any longer.

“Jason”, you said in a slightly distressed tone. “Can we please go back to normal? I mean, like nothing happened?”

Finally his gaze fell on you, his lips a thin line.

“I miss talking to you.”

“I really don’t know if I want this…being normal with you again.”

He cocked his head a bit, the last words dying slowly in his mouth as some of your colleagues joined you outside.

“What do you mean,” you managed to reply, before the other guys started to talk.

“C’mon Dixon, we’re off”, one of them said and Jason moved away without another word.

You didn’t turn to watch him go and just headed straight on. In the wrong direction.

Your sister lived not far away from Ebbing but you stayed the whole weekend. She introduced you to one of her husband’s friends and since he was a nice guy you agreed when he asked you if he could visit you next Friday for a drink. He asked you out and you accepted. Just like normal people.

You weren’t quite sure about this guy but he was really nice and you’ve been alone for too long. Besides it was just a date, so what the hell…

The working week passed by as usual. You didn’t see Jason much because he was on patrol like the whole time.

Secretly you imagined he was avoiding you because the last thing he said to you was not insignificant in your eyes.

But you tried not to over interpret it and by the middle of the week you were really looking forward to your date.

Mike called you on Thursday and you arranged to meet at the bar on Friday evening.

The bar was crowded and the usual damp heat hit your face when you entered.

Mike helped you out of your jacket and you headed to the bar counter.

Since all tables where occupied you took place on the barstools.

You ordered two beers and started talking about how you’ve spent last week.

Suddenly you spotted Jason at one of the billiard tables.

Before you could look away he spotted you and nodded to you with a little smile. He apparently was surprised to see you there.

Your gaze went back to Mike who was still talking to you.

You couldn’t follow the meaning of his words because out of the corner of your eye you saw Jason’s smile die on his face when he realized you were not alone.

The whole evening you kept on exchanging looks and you had to admit that it was quite exciting and you felt pleasurable warmth spreading through your body while watching him secretly.

He looked dang cute and attractive this evening. You seldom saw him outside of your working place and although he looked stunning wearing his uniform you liked his casual clothing very much.

When you caught yourself having all these thoughts while pretending to be listening to Mike’s glorious fishing adventures you felt bad.

He was a really nice guy, charming and attentive and deadly attractive. Too attractive in your eyes, actually.

Your thoughts kept on wandering to Jason.

Maybe just now you realized how much in love you’ve been with him meanwhile and how much you wanted to be with him. Just with him and no one else.

“Hello”, you heard Mike say in a low voice. “Are you still with me?” He smirked a bit.

_Actually no, not at all_ , you thought.

“I’m sorry, I was distracted for a moment.”

“Are you ok? You look a bit unwell.”

“Yes, of course, I’m fine.” You gripped your beer.

“I’ll be right back”, he said and rose from his seat, touching your arm calmingly.

Bringing the bottle to your lips you emptied it.

Suddenly you felt someone brush your back slightly and turning around you faced Jason.

He must have noticed Mike’s absence.

“Hi”, you called. The music and the guest’s singing were very loud meanwhile.

“Hello”, he said and you just saw his lips moving. “Nice to see you here.”

“I am not alone”, you blurted out quickly.

“Yes, I’ve noticed”, he said calmly, puckering his lips a bit.

He took a sip from the bottle the bar tender placed in front of him, gritting his teeth a bit when he swallowed the liquid.

You stared at your bottle which was empty unfortunately.

He came closer, leaning on the counter and you felt his lower arm touching yours. He stayed like that for a while and leaned in closer a few moments later.

The music was loud but you were sure he was able to hear your heartbeat.

“I think we didn’t finish our conversation the other day.”

His lips almost touched your ear and you felt his warm breath on your skin.

“It’s not the best timing to talk this out now, as you may guess.” You turned to him and looked into his eyes.

There were small hazel bits in his emerald green eyes. You haven’t noticed before.

His eyelashes were long and dense and tenderly nestled to his lower eyelids when he lowered his gaze.

Your body shivered a bit and your arm brushed his skin, his hairs tickling you.

He looked back up to you.

For a short moment you saw a little smile flashing over his lips but then he abruptly straightened himself again.

“Oh, hello”, Mike said, looking from you to Jason.

“This is my colleague Jason”, you stuttered. “Jason, that’s Mike.”

Jason nodded and moved. “Have a nice evening.”

Walking straight up to Mike he passed him, nudging his upper arm with his shoulder.

“Seems like your friend had one beer to much.”

Stumbling a bit he sat back down on his stool.

“Might be”, you replied absentmindedly.

Your mind was a mess and you suddenly felt nauseous.

“Would you please excuse me for a while, I think I need some fresh air. I’ll be right back.”

“Are you ok?”

“Yes, I’m just… I’ll be right back.”

You stood up and headed to the back door.

You knew that, being busy with the guests probably no stuff would be out there at the moment.

Stumbling outside you took a deep breath, enjoying the cool air.

Waging your head you had to laugh at yourself.

Normally you were the queen of self control but right now you felt like you lost it completely.

You leaned against the wall of the storage shed, closing your eyes.

Your cheeks burnt and the spot where his skin touched yours a few minutes ago was still tingling.

The back door creaked and you opened your eyes.

There he stood a bit helpless with a distressed look on his face. He closed the door and stepped up to you.

You were still leaning against the wall, not sure if your legs were still able to carry your weight.

He came really close, cocking his head a bit and looking into your eyes.

You lowered your gaze because you couldn’t stand him looking at you like this. You waited for him to start talking.

He didn’t. Instead he lifted your chin and made you look him in the eyes.

He was breathing deeply and you could feel the tension in his body.

The next thing you felt were his lips on yours and his strong body pushing you firmly against the wall.

His mouth moved greedily from your lower to your upper lip while his hand moved from your chin to your throat.

Your mind went blank and your legs were trembling.

He took you so much by surprise. Never would you have thought something like this to happen. After he dismissed you and all the sadness and agony you went through he just stood there kissing you passionately.

He stroked you throat firmly moving your head a bit to the side with his thumb.

Moving his lips along your cheek he bit down lightly on your jaw line, making you sigh.

“Jason”, you said almost soundlessly.

He stopped immediately and faced you again, his eyes narrowed. His lips were parted a bit and he was panting quietly.

“I couldn’t stand seeing you…with him.” His voice was not more than a hoarse whisper.

His hands moved down your sides and stopped at your hips. He gripped into the fabric of your dress and pushed it up a little bit, positioning his thigh between your legs.

“It should have been me.” He looked at you and you could clearly see the longing in his eyes.

“It always should have been you.”

Your hands were on his shoulders and you tried to hold on to him while you felt his knee parting your legs.

You breathed raggedly and felt panic rise inside of you. You didn’t know what he was up to; you were totally clueless about this man’s actions. What you knew though was that whatever happened next you would not be able to reject him.

His mouth was back on your neck, sucking on the tender skin of your throat.

Putting your hands further up you started scratching the back of his head.

You felt heat waves hitting your body and a tight knot growing inside your stomach.

You started to move your hips slowly against his thigh and the pressure this caused on your most sensitive spot let you sigh deeply. Growling he pressed his thigh firmer against you and a whimper escaped your lips. His fingers dig deep into the flesh of your thighs.

Never before in your entire life had you wanted someone that badly.

He stopped kissing your neck and looked to the right where he spotted the shed’s entrance. His hands still on your hips he gripped your butt, lifting you up. Automatically you placed your legs on his hips holding tight to his neck.

He carried you to the entrance and kicked the door open. Inside he leaned back against the door, closing it.

Taking a look around he spotted a small fridge and headed towards it. He let you sit down on it. You pulled him closer peppering his mouth with hot kisses. Your tongues met and you completely surrendered to this sweet blessing. You dreamed like a thousand times of kissing this man, feeling his tongue in your mouth and his hands on your skin.

You dreamed of him being inside of you, making you complete, owning your body and soul.

He pushed your dress further up stroking your bare thighs up and down. You spread your legs a little bit more as you felt his hand reaching your inner thigh.

His fingers brushed your soaked panties and your body jerked a bit.

Slowly he stroked you through the fabric while keeping on kissing you feverishly.

You sighed pleasurably, your longing allowing no further delay. Clawing to his shoulders you lifted your body a bit, letting him strip down your panties.

His hands on your knees he parted your legs, tracing your inner thighs up to your folds. Smoothly he entered you with his middle finger, holding your gaze.

Pushing the strap of your dress down he bit roughly into your shoulder, pumping his finger faster in and outside of you.

You fumbled at the hem of his shirt, slipping your hands underneath. His skin was hot and felt incredibly well under your palms.

You traced his chest down, stroking his belly with your fingertips. When you started to undo his belt he removed his fingers and let you open his pants.

Pushing down his boxers you gripped his impressive length giving him some firm strokes.

He placed his hands left and right of you on the fridge and pressed his forehead against your shoulder moaning deeply.

You turned your head a bit, placing your lips on his ear.

“Jason”, you whispered.

“Yeah?” He lifted his head a bit and looked at you.

“I can’t wait any longer.”

He straightened himself again, decidedly seizing your hips and pulling you closer to the edge of the fridge. He positioned himself between your thighs and you enclosed him with your legs. When he entered you with one deep thrust your body quivered with lust.

You knew this was so wrong. But how could something that felt so good and right be wrong and the same time? In fact, you didn’t care much because the man you loved was closer to you than you ever thought he would be. Yes, you have loved him for ages now and at this very moment he was yours.

And you were his.

It couldn’t be wrong.

His moves were rough and deep and you desperately tried to hold on to him. Your fingers were weak and shaky though and you where struggling not to loose grip and fall back.

He noticed and pulled you in closer to his chest, holding you tightly.

Your face was just millimetres from his. He looked into your eyes deeply while keeping on thrusting into you.

You kissed again and moaned into each others mouths, enjoying this absolute closeness. Your hands caressed his stubbly hair and soon you felt your walls tighten around him. Your legs started shaking uncontrollably and you let go of his lips, throwing your head back, enjoying your orgasm wave by wave. Your deep breaths turned into whimpering sounds and your body shivered violently.

You felt him twitch inside of you and he gripped the back of your neck pounding firmly into you.  All the time he was watching your face, indulging in your lust shaped features.

“Look at me”, he hushed.

You opened your eyes and watched him, stroking his cheek.

His grip tightened and he pulled you into a rough kiss. Biting down on your lower lip he groaned deeply and filled you with his warm cum.

Your lip between his teeth he sighed noisily, regaining his breath slowly. When your lips parted you were still trembling and he just held you close.

You stayed like that for a while before you pushed him back softly.

“Would you please look for some towels”, you said in a shaky voice.

“Yeah, sure.”

He rearranged his clothes and looking around he finally found some napkins.

You cleaned yourself and got off the fridge taking your panties back on.

Jason stood there watching you with a lost expression.

“I have to go”, you blurted out. “Oh my God, I have to go.”

Your voice was weak and you felt like laughing and crying at the same time.

Covering your face with your palms you breathed in deeply and tried to collect yourself.

Suddenly you felt Jason seizing your upper arms. Letting your hands sink you looked at him.

“I’m sorry”, he mumbled and looked at you like a lost puppy.

“No, Jason. Don’t be…I just have to go.”

You were desperate. You left Mike sitting at the bar for God knows how long. You totally lost track of space and time.

“I have to go now.”

You stroked his cheek one last time, turned and left him standing there.

You felt like a terrible person and you had to fix things first before you started thinking about what just happened.

Twenty minutes later you where sitting in your car, heading home.

Mike was confused but of course very understanding, when you came back in and told him you weren’t feeling well. He wished you a quick recovery and you said goodbye.

On your way out of the bar you were looking for Jason but he was nowhere to be seen.

When you approached your house you saw Jason’s car standing in the driveway.

You got out and walked towards your house when you spotted him sitting on your porch, leaning against the wall.

He rose when he saw you coming. Putting his hands in his pockets he lowered his gaze and smiled shyly, looking at his shoes.

“Hey”, you said, positioning yourself in front of him. “I’m sorry I left you there all alone.”

“It’s ok…I mean I kinda just blindsided you.”

“Yeah, this was unexpected.”

“I’m in love with you”, he blurted out, looking up at you again.

“Oh, Jason”, you hushed in exasperation.

“I know, I’m a twat.”

You stepped closer, palming his cheeks.

“And you know I feel the same.”

You kissed him softly and he embraced you, snuggling to your neck.

“I think now I am ready to have a drink with you”, he murmured.

You chuckled, holding him close to your body.

He was yours.

And you were his.    


End file.
